Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tired...

This is the part where I admit my vulnerability. I am a little afraid, but I need to get it out in the open. When I began running last January training for the Newport Marathon, I thought that it would be "over" in June. Little did I know what having a "bad" marathon would do for me. It seems like when things go well, I am able to be happy with that and move on. When things go badly, I am more determined(okay, maybe stubborn and prideful are more accurate terms) to prove that I can do better. In the case of a marathon, you can not just redo it the next weekend(especially if you are trying to find a Saturday marathon.) As hard as I tried to convince my sweet supportive hubby to let me fly to Hawaii to run a "makeup" marathon, it was not to be. So, I have spent this past 9 months continuing to run. I have rotated through many running partners since last January(due to injury, pregnancy, etc hopefully not boredom of me), and I have truly enjoyed getting to know each one of them. Just when I thought I was on my own, Suzie P came into my running world. When I suggested a marathon, her response was, "Okay." That is just how she is. Now she is my saving grace and keeps me grounded. When I thought I was going to give up on this marathon because of a couple of really bad runs, she wouldn't let me. When our plans to redeem my time at the Newport Marathon were spoiled because the spots filled up, she quickly agreed to cut off four weeks of training and run the Ogden Marathon with me. She has been amazingly supportive and I definitely would not still be going strong if it weren't for her. I am so excited to run her first marathon with her so that she can have an awesome experience. I want it to be so different from last year. This is where I get nervous. I don't deal with disappointment very well(as I am sure you can already see) so I don't want to build this marathon up too much in my mind. I just want to have a good time. The problem is that I feel my running has finally hit the point of diminishing returns. (Please don't be mad at me about this Suzie!) I went from running 4 days a week last year to now running 6. I love most of my runs, but I am tired all the time. Running used to give me energy and I felt it made me a better mom, but now I feel it is affecting me negatively because it seems I can't get enough sleep. Whew, there I said it. So, I am ready to go back to running 4 days a week. After the marathon, of course. :-) I still love our Saturday long run and those crazy hilly beautiful runs that Suzie thinks up. And Boston is still a glimmer in my eye, but for now I just want to sleep. So, here's to hoping that I am happy with the Ogden Marathon. So that I don't spend the next year thinking about how to redeem it.

2 comments:

Suzie Petunia said...

I know Ogden will be great! I've never had so much fun running as I have in the last few months. Suddenly having a goal to work for (other than being able to continue to fit in my jeans :) has been a real treat for me. There is something amazing running with other people: take this morning for instance. Would ANY of us really have gotten out of bed to run in the pouring rain on our own? I don't think so. I guess we have a collective insanity that is addicting. :)

Suzie Petunia said...

And that lady thought we were high school girls! Yeeee haaaaaw! Running helps us cling to our youth. :) (oh, and she wasn't wearing her glasses)