Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Running with Angels
This is a difficult post for me, but I really want to share my experience. As most of you know, my dad has been very sick. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2005. I went to CA to spend 3 weeks with him over Thanksgiving. I had some amazing moments with him. We got home on Monday and he passed away on Friday evening. Even though I knew it was coming, I was devastated when I received the call. Saturday morning I just needed to be alone to process it all. The only place I feel truly alone is when I am running. I wanted to go for a long run even though I hadn't really been running since the marathon. I decided to do my favorite route which is to the LDS temple and back(20 miles total). I knew I wasn't ready for the "and back" part, so I asked Jeff if he would pick me up there. It was a perfectly gray, overcast morning, with the snow lightly falling. I had my music on in the background because I knew if I was completely alone with my thoughts, I wouldn't make it. I was able to contemplate my father, the wonderful man that he is, and my relationship with him. I felt especially close to him as I was running, as he has always been my personal cheerleader. I am not the naturally gifted athlete that my sisters are, but it never mattered to my dad. He just wanted me to try my best. I think he was happy when I found my passion for running as an adult. I loved telling him about my races and being so proud of my commitment and dropping times. He also was the first one I called after my disappointing first marathon. I always just wanted to make him proud, and I still do. I know he is there every step of my journey, running or otherwise. I know he will be right there with me when I qualify for Boston someday. I just feel so lucky to have a dad who is my greatest support. I am also grateful to know I will continue to have this connection with him when I am running. I used to rely on my running group a lot, but after this baby, I really had to learn to run alone. So even though I LOVE running with my friends, I know they will understand the times I need to run with my dad. I love him so much! When I am ready, I will post more about him on my personal blog.