Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Curse of a Runner

Boise Women's Celebration in two weeks...
I am having some mixed feelings as I try and get ready for this race. I am reminded more and more that I am cursed as a runner...I will try and explain. I have only ran three times since 30 weeks pregnant (Salt Lake 5K) and during these runs I have felt totally broken. My body just doesn't want to do what my mind is begging for. It still hurts and I feel like an old lady trying to dust the cob webs off. I am told "give yourself a break you just had a baby" or "you have all the time in the world to run just enjoy some time off". This is where the curse comes in...I can't not want to run and when I say run I mean run well. I want to feel good, strong and fast right now... not like a feakin old lady, ahh! I cant help thinking I could run a 5K last year in 24 minutes and this year I will be lucky to finish under 30 min. During my last run I tried to tell myself just chill out , all that matters is that you are out here running. In the back of my mind the curse kicks in and I am dying at the thought of starting all over again.In fact I have dreams all the time about running. They are dreams filled with endless running bliss and I get ticked when I wake up and realize that I still have my post pregnant jelly belly. So I will send out a warning to all those who are showing interest in running...BEWARE of the CURSE. Once you truly fall in love with running and work hard to attain a level of running fitness you can never go back! It will haunt you!

4 comments:

MHelen said...

I feel your pain! I have the curse also! I actually get jealous when I see another runner out enjoying the road. I've been suffering from an awful shin splint since the end of July. This injury has completely stopped my 1/2 marathon training. I'm dreaming of the day when I can effortlessly run down the road, listening to my music and losing myself in the moment....

Kelly(M&M) said...

I think we all understand this! You described the curse well. Coming back after any break is tough. We want to be back where we were- now!! You are doing great and I hope to hear it keeps getting better for you. I am sorry it is not as quickly as you were hoping. We never know how our bodies are going to respond. Just don't give up! Keep us posted and know you are not alone.

heather said...

I have the opposite problem-sort of. I have long said I hate running, I've just been doing it for probably 10 years now, including 2 marathons. (Clearly it's more a love/hate relationship!)
But, after a baby, I'm finally getting back into it, and now getting upset if it doesn't work out to at least get a short run in. I just don't feel "right". But, I can't be mad at the baby for taking so long to eat, or sleeping in, or whatever caused it to go awry that day.
I also long for the day when I can put her in a stroller and run and run and run. Not have to get back for a feeding in such a regimented time.
Fortunately, I think my first race will be with a slow friend in December and a 5K. That's manageable.
Good luck! And remember, they won't always be this little, but you can run for the rest of your life.

amydear said...

I hear ya! I think I should be getting faster, but some runs are still sooo hard. Oh well, I'm just going to take every run as it is and try to enjoy the overall running experience. Don't worry, you will get it back. It just might take longer than you planned. And a leisurely 5K might be fun, or you might surprise yourself!