Sunday, March 08, 2009

Training is the Opposite of Hoping (A Race Report-kind of!)

Training is the Opposite of Hoping...
This is what it said on the shirt one of my best friends bought for me yesterday. I don't think she realized just how much I needed it at that moment. I have been through a wave of emotions in the last 24 hours, some of which don't pertain to running and is a blog post of its own!

As far as running goes, yesterday was a big race for me. As I am training for the Newport Marathon on May 30th, the date of March 7th has been my first big hurdle. It is a 30K (18.6 miles) race that I would be running for the third time. It is nice to have a distance between the half marathon and marathon to let you know how your endurance is. There are not many people who run in the race because, let's face it, there are not many people who want to run that distance! It was my favorite race last year and gave me a lot of confidence going into the Salt Lake Marathon. I was hoping it would do the same for me this year. I had to keep reminding myself that I was further along in my training last year, so not to get fixated on a goal time. That is easier said than done. I showed up to the race with good friends Sarah and Kirsten. Kirsten was taking the race as a long run and Sarah was just happy to be there, as she has been very sick this month, had sick kids, and had a husband traveling a lot! Kirsten was running with her hubby and Sarah was running with her cousin, Nicole, so I was on my own. It was a very lonely race for me, but I knew I needed to get in my own zone. My plan was to take the first 10k loop slow, then get to my Boston goal pace (8:23) for as long as I could go. I probably didn't go quite as slow as I needed to in the beginning, due to some confusion with the mile markers, so I kept the second 10k about the same pace. By the third 10k I had a burst of energy and decided to speed up and give it everything I had, even if it hurt! I had a fantastic couple of miles and then all of a sudden it was painful. I started wondering if I would finish. The last 3 miles were tough but I kept hanging on. I ended up finishing with an average pace of 8:27/mile. I had tears of joy at the end of my race as I spotted my sweet family cheering me on. I started to believe maybe Boston will actually happen for me. I was elated and so excited with my race.

Then, as I started thinking about it more, I realized I still had 8 miles to go. There is no way I could have run 8 more miles at that pace. My confidence began to sink as I remembered how tough the race had actually felt. I thought about Salt Lake and the disappointment I felt. I wondered if I could put myself, my family, and my friends through this whole process again. I got even sadder as I realized the one person I wanted to talk to about it is not here. I began rethinking my goals and wondering if Boston is even worth the emotional and physical energy I put in. When it comes down to it, it is worth it. My journey to Boston has been a metaphor for my life. I have learned that I can keep going when things are hard. I learned that I don't have to give up just because I am not going to get the result I want. I have learned that I can accomplish things when I set my mind to it. I have learned that even little steps forward still make for progress. I have learned that setbacks can't keep you from your final goal. If I can use this as a wife and a mother, and in all my other roles, I will accomplish much and have a life I am pleased with. It's when I let my setbacks and disappointments hold me back that I am not able to be the kind of person I want to be.
So, if you want, join me in my quest for my elusive goal of qualifying for Boston. It might not happen this time around, and I will need all the support I can get to pick myself back up. If I do qualify, I will celebrate with all who will listen. :-) All I do know, is every time I put myself out there, I learn something new. Training is definitely the opposite of hoping, and I will be doing all I can on my end, on the road and in my life! Thanks to all of you have have continued to encourage me. I love your stories!

16 comments:

Suzie Petunia said...

I have so much love and respect for you as a friend, a mom, a wife, a daughter, and a sister. I have never known anyone who sets standards as high as you do for yourself and it is inspiring. Sometimes it is a little difficult to keep up with you, and I hope you forgive me for that. I want your goals and dreams to come true. I want to help you reach them. I don't want my negative attitude to burden you. I just hope you know I love you and want the best for you! I can't wait to see you qualify for Boston. It is going to be the biggest party EVER.

Kelly(M&M) said...

Thanks for your kind words. I am very lucky to have you on my side and by my side. There is no such thing as you trying to keep up with me, we are so different in our aspirations and that is why we work as well as we do. I wish I could do 1/10th of the projects you complete, but I appreciate and admire your creativity from afar. (and okay, envy it too!) You could never burden me and you haven't been negative. You are just a little more realistic than I am. :-)
Can't wait to qualify with you-whenever that day may be! (Hopefully May 30th, 2009!)

Giggles said...

I just found your blog. I too am taking a slow journey to Boston. I'll get there some day. An ankle injury six weeks before my qualifier made me change my goals to just finishing the qualifier last year. I'm having a hard time getting going this year though.

I'm not a mommy runner yet. But it was running with my dad when I was little that got me into a life of running. I hope to do the same with my children some day when that day comes.

I need to remember to train, not just hope. And for everything, not just racing. Thank you.

amydear said...

What an awesome race time! And who knows, you may have been able to keep it up. I am so excited that I'm going to be there May 30th when you qualify! I hope that you keep a positive mental attitude, because a lot of it is mental. You inspire a lot of people to keep running and keep training, and maybe even to keep hoping. My Boston qualifying time is years away, but I hope to make it too. I'm glad you posted! And I'm sorry your Dad can't be here to coach you and advise you. I'm sure he wishes he could too.

staci-d said...

I wish you the best! All the training you will do will be worth it! That is what i love about running it teaches you so much and is applied to so many different aspects in our lives. One step at a time! I look forward to reading more of your journey to Boston. You can do it!

Kim said...

Kelly- congrats on an awesome race! You are doing so well! I have a feeling I am going to be running my own race at Newport- several paces behind you! My training is going pretty well- I have an IT band issue I'm trying to deal with, but I think it will be o.k. I am so excited!

JP said...

It’s so weird to read this now. (I’m sorry, didn’t you write this specifically for me???)

Wow.

I love that saying…and is so appropriate for me right now. One thing I’ve learned about myself is that one of the best parts of training for something (whatever the distance) is the training. The entire journey to that end goal is so important. That is what makes you stronger mentally and physically.

Don’t lose sight of the importance of the journey. I am so proud and excited for you and your goal. I simply adore you…I can’t wait to share this experience with you.

Run Mommy said...

Great post! I just replied on your regular blog. The reason I enjoy this blog as much as I do - all the great stories of accomplished MOM's!

Kristyn said...

I love you girl!

Ang said...

You are so awesome! I am rooting for you one hundred percent!! You are such a great example to me!

Maybe we should call each other and have a little heart to heart. I think we could use it. :)

xoxo

Charity said...

You still have plenty of time...don't worry, you'll get there. You have a million people rooting for you. It'll happen. Don't worry, be happy:)

Molly said...

I've got a good feeling about you Miss Kelly. I know I keep saying that but I know your "time" is coming soon.
Do you realize how fast an 8:27 pace is? You rock!

Kelly(M&M) said...

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. The encouragement on this site is amazing! Keep posting reports, questions, etc.

Stephanie and Co. said...

Way to go! Good luck with your quest to Boston!

cherl said...

You inspire me more than you'll ever know. The dedication you have to achieving this goal is uncompromising and amazing. You'll get there. I know you will. And I can't wait to hear all about it when you do!

Isn't the last 6 or 8 miles of the marathon all mental anyway? You're tough, probably even more tough than you know.

"Training is the opposite of hoping." I LOVE that.

Kymba said...

Great Blog....wondering where your friend got the shirt for you. I LOVE IT!!! Please email or post when you can. Thanks!